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Charm School: The Modern Girl's Complete Handbook of Etiquette, first published by Penguin Books Australia, Oct 2003 rrp, $24.95
ISBN: 0143001493
CHARM SCHOOL INTRODUCTION
One of my loveliest memories is of walking down a very busy London street late one summer's afternoon with a handsome and suave French guy I was dating.
I'd had a particularly bad day at work (because of a 'hell on high-heels' bully co-worker, but you'll read more about how to handle one of those formidable types later). I was feeling a bit down while we were walking down the street on the way to my favourite bar and he was telling me a funny story, was being really sweet and was unsuccessfully trying his hardest to make me laugh.
He was giving me his complete attention, turned to stroke my face lovingly to wipe away a lone tear and, just as I was starting to feel better, I looked up and BAM! The poor guy banged into a very thick and sturdy street lamp. His head made a distinct and very loud 'clunking' sound as he fell onto the path in shock. He was obviously okay but also stunned that his 'Mr Cool' persona has been undercut so early in the night (before we'd even had our first vodkas). He looked up, saw the tiniest grin on my face (come on, I was at least trying to keep a straight face and look concerned) and he said, 'Aha, finally I have made you laugh!' And yes, he had.
Sometimes you need to go that extra mile to make someone else feel better and if you do, they'll remember it forever. Just as Daniel did for me in Soho Square, London, that summer day.
There's no denying that the unwritten rules of modern etiquette can be a minefield. While it is true that pretty much anything goes nowadays, there are still thousands of rules to follow, even if most of us don't want to admit it. In many ways the perceived relaxed attitude to etiquette has actually made things even more difficult than when everyone knew exactly what the rules were and what would happen if they broke them.
This book is a one-stop survival guide to help you deal with etiquette in the new millennium. You'll discover secrets to good living, loving and working - how to be a wonderful friend, to enjoy a fabulous love life and how to be happy and successful at work. Think of it as a (friendly and supportive) stiletto boot camp or a Ms Manners with a modern - and I promise you, never patronizing - twist.
You'll be on track if you follow these ten golden rules.
1 Never answer your mobile phone on the toilet.
2 Never fall in love with a gorgeous gay man (unless you are also a gorgeous gay man).
3 Don't drink and dial (remember, martinis and mobile phones do not mix) and don't text after sex (need I say more?).
4 Always say thank you for a present (even if it is truly awful).
5 If you are having good sex with a guy and he asks to borrow some money, please say no because it'll probably be the end of your money and your affair.
6 Don't shave your legs when you are drunk.
7 Never 'borrow' - or flirt with - your best friend's boyfriend.
8 Stay away from selfish people who say things like, 'Never explain, never apologise.' It's bad advice; they're bad news.
9 It's never too late to say 'I'm sorry'.
10 Learn to be happy for other people's success and let them know how pleased you are for them.
And, most importantly, remember that manners are sexy!